We're still here!

Has it really been 2 months almost to the day that I have posted a blog?! Where in the world does time go! I can't believe we are getting close to March! Crazy!! Well, a lot has happened since I last blogged! Of course, the kids are getting bigger. As they get bigger so does their little personalities! Imagine that! H has now lost 2 teeth. Yes, just 2. She is 7 and has only lost 2 teeth. Hopefully, there will be a lot more coming out soon! Those permanant teeth need more room to grow! T is still so stinkin sweet! She is getting taller and is thinning out a lot more. She is just growing up so quickly. Stop, please! B is getting so tall! He changes everyday. Mario and I were finally able to get away and go to Ruidoso. But, before we left, T got sick. She woke up with a fever Friday morning and I told Mario that I wouldn't be comfortable leaving her with her grandmother sick unless we took her to the dr and made sure she was going to be ok. We took her in and the dr said it sounded like flulike symptoms but just to make sure she had plenty of fluids and watch her fever. He told us to go on out of town and dont worry about her because that is what grandma's are for! So, Mario and I left shortly after we got them settled with Nonnie! We got to Ruidoso and as soon as I got out of the car, I stopped and listened. Have you ever stopped to listen to the wind blow? It is the most peaceful sound ever! With all of those tall trees swaying in the wind....it was so amazing! We decided that we would go to the Casino later that night and then go to the buffet that they had there where the casino was. After hanging out at the cabin for a while, we went to the store to get some goodies for the cabin. Water, food, and whatever else looked good! We went back to the cabin, dropped all of our groceries off and then went on to the casino. We had a great evening! We got back to the cabin at about 11. Guess what? Mario started feeling bad! Wouldn't you know it?! He got the flu while we were there. Our first vacation together in 2 years and he gets sick the first day we were there! Bless his heart! He was so sick. We ended up staying in the whole weekend and watched movies. At least we were able to get away! He was so sick on Sunday when we left that I ended up driving home and drove straight to the dr. Flu test: POSITIVE!! She prescribed medicine and told him to stay home all week. As long as he had a fever, he was highly contagious. No work, No anything! We left and I was ready to see the kids. He was too but I told him to stay away from them! He could say hi when he walked in, but he had to go straight to bed. He did and he probably slept for 3 days straight! I'm not kidding! My mother in law also got sick while we were away so I called my mom and asked her if she would watch the kids for me for the week. I'm so grateful for our parents! They help us out SO much! They are such blessings!
Well, now everyone is well and life is back to normal. Whatever "normal" means! I've got so much to say but since I am at work, I guess I should stop. I'll continue this post when I can!

Hmmm...

So, it's been a while and I really don't have anything to talk about. Not a whole lot has been going on lately. I sure do miss grandma a whole lot! It's already been 3 weeks...it feels like a lifetime. What's weird is that I am afraid I am not going to remember what she looks like. I have seen her all of my life, I know, but I just have a fear that I am going to forget. I don't want to forget. I want to remember every single feature. She aged so well. Her hands were so soft and smooth. Wow, I just miss her. I was lying in bed last week and I started to cry because all I could see when I would think about her was the EMS crew pushing on her chest as they pushed her out the door or her just laying there on the table, lifeless. I don't want to remember that stuff. I want to remember her alive and laughing or being grumpy as she sometimes was. She hated it when I didn't answer my phone. She did not like to leave messages. If she did they wouldn't be very pleasant! :-) I don't have caller id and even though I would tell her that over and over again, she didn't believe me. hahaha.....she is greatly missed! My mom has been staying with me ever since this all happened and I have enjoyed that. I think she is about to go home. I am ok with her going home but at the same time, I won't be able to check on her and make sure she is ok. I can of course go and see her and call her but it won't be the same.

Dear Jesus, just give her peace. Be with her as she returns to her regular, everyday life. Bring peace to her household. Love on her and comfort her. Thank you for all that you have done for our family. Please tell grandma that we sure do miss her. Thank you for making her better. In Jesus' name. Amen

We finally got our Christmas tree decorated last night. It looks a little bare. I think we are missing some ornaments because our tree was a lot cuter last year but Mario claims that it is the same. I know that we had some homemade ornaments from the kids last year but I guess it is all my imagination. H has been in school for 2 years now so I know they have made some sort of ornament for the tree. I know they have made them in church! Speaking of church, I miss it! I have not been able to go much since my grandma passed. I know it has only been 2 weeks (WOW!!) but I am used to going on Sunday and Wednesday and it feels like forever when I cannot go every time! I can't believe it has already been 2 weeks! I miss her so much! It has definitly been different over the last couple of weeks. I really wish I could hug her! I slept better last night than I have in 2 weeks because I heard my grandma laughing. Ever since she passed, I have just prayed that God would let me see her in my dreams. Well, I haven't been able to dream about her and it is making me very upset! I haven't even been able to picture her in my head. Last night as I was laying in bed, I started to cry. Then all of the sudden, I pictured her face and heard her laughing. Grandma would get so tickled at things I would tell her about the kids and would just start laughing and I loved that laugh! I finally saw her in my head and it made me feel so much better. That might sound weird but I felt better!
I really don't have too much to talk about at the moment.....I'll write more later!

I am going to post some pictures on here just as soon as I learn how! I have not quite figured it out yet but as soon as I do, you'll know! :-)

My Husband

I just have to say that I have the best husband! He is so good to me! He is the sweetest, most loving man I know! Thank you, Honey, for being such a Godly husband and for loving me the way that you do. You are the best daddy and husband EVER!!!! I love you!

The Holidays

I have been trying to post this for a few days but was just not able to do it until now. The last post that I posted I was talking about being sad. Maybe my heart knew what was going to happen. Who knows! Now I just can't stop being so sad! My sweet grandma passed away unexpectedly on Saturday. She was the absolute best grandmother ever! She was the backbone of our family. Although our family was slowly drifting apart, her death has brought us back together. All she wanted these last few months was for us to be a big, happy family. That's all she wanted. It happened Saturday. While we were waiting at the hospital for the news, we couldn't stop loving each other.

Let me start at the beginning. My brother and his family were going out of town for Thanksgiving and usually my mom is the one that dogsits for them. She was going to stay at his house while they were gone but since my grandma had been placed on bedrest earlier in the week, my brother asked her to stay at my grandma's house to help her out and to watch the dog. My grandma was on bedrest because she had a fractured pelvis. My mom was happy to help but little did we know that something would go horribly wrong. I went to grandma's house on Wednesday so that I could drop my mom off. I didn't take the kids because B was not feeling good and I didn't want to get grandma sick! She looked so cute sitting there in the bed! She had that look on her face....the look that she always had when she didn't want to do something that her doctor had told her to do. You see, she was a nurse and didn't like being told what to do by doctors! She was so stubborn! Little did I know, this was the last time I was going to see her. Had I known that, I would have gotten under the covers with her and hugged her just a little bit longer. I would have kissed her again. I would have squeezed her a little tighter and told her how much she really meant to me. You see, we usually get together as a family at grandma's house for Thanksgiving, but this year, we didn't. We all had other plans. Mario's grandparents came in but left before we could have our Thanksgiving dinner, my brother and his family went out of town and my sister and her family were with her husbands family....Gosh, I wish we would have known!

I had my mom take some food to grandma so that she would have Thanksgiving dinner and so grandma called me on Friday and thanked me for sending some food and told me that she would eat it later that night because she had been sick all night the night before probably with a 24 hour bug and she was feeeling a lot better. That was the last time I talked to her...by the way, she never ate my food. :-) She didn't eat it on Friday like she said that she would! We were cleaning out her refrigerator to make room for all of the food that people were bringing and I threw it away. It made me sad!

On Saturday morning, I got up and got ready to go to Hobby Lobby with Beth. I didn't really want to go but I told her that I would and she didn't believe me! I was determined to prove her wrong. We left my house at about 12:30. We walked into Hobby Lobby and I realized that I had left my cell phone at home. Oh well, Beth had hers just incase Mario wanted to get a hold of me! We were starting to walk toward the back of the store when Mario called me and said that we needed to get over to grandmas house. He said that my mom had just called screaming something into the phone about her mom. We ran. Ran to the car. I was shaking so bad. I started praying that God would help her and not take her. I didn't know anything about what I was about to walk into. I didn't know what to expect when I got there. All I could think about was mom. We got there and as we were running into the house I could hear the sirens in the distance. I think they were just down the block. My uncle and aunt were there and as soon as we walked in to grandmas bedroom, I saw her legs laying there. Still, not moving. Mom was screaming for her mom and I just took her in my arms and held her. Beth was asked to help my uncle with the CPR. She went in there and did the best that she could have done. I can't imagine having to do CPR on my own grandmother. She was so brave. I am so proud of her. My uncle was brave too. He is a firefighter and has had to do this many times, but not to his mother. It was personal this time. He still did the best that he could have done. The ambulance arrived and they took over. They had been doing CPR for what seemed like an eternity. I don't think I will ever forget seeing them work on my grandmother as they were pushing her out the door on that gurney. It was scary!

We all gathered at the hospital and waited for the dr. He came in just a few short minutes later and said that they had lost her. Shock. Complete shock. My grandmother can't be gone! She is the strongest woman I know! But she was. They took us to a room in the back of the ER where we could say goodbye. I know that she was not there. She was not in that body. She was in heaven, worshiping at Jesus' feet. I touched her hands one last time. I will never forget my grandma's hands. They were so soft and I had this fettish with her hands. Amy always laughed at me and told me I was weird but I loved her hands. I sure am going to miss them!

It's sad, but there was one good thing that came from grandma's death. Our family loves each other again. Even if it is just temporary, which I hope that it is not, we put aside our differences for grandma, something that she has wanted us to do for a quite some time now, and just loved on each other.

I think grandma is smiling down on us!

Change

I am feeling a little sad today! Maybe it's because Thanksgiving is coming up in a couple of days and I'm not going to be spending it with my family. I miss my family! My sister and her family and my brother and his family. We all live in the same town and don't see each other at all! That makes me sad! We really shouldn't be like this! I'm this way with my friends too. Not that I have a lot of them but we're just always so busy with day to day things that we just don't really make time to do anything else. I don't like that about us! Something needs to change. I miss everyone! I hope this feeling goes away soon! I just don't like it!

I feel better now that I got that off of my chest! Whew! My girls are officially done with school this week. T got out today at noon and H got out at 1:15. Now I have to try and keep them entertained for the rest of their time off. You know, ever since B has gotten out of the hospital, he has had a bit of an attitude! I think it is because he got all of the attention and didn't have to share us while we were there. I know that he really loved the fact that I slept with him in his bed 2 nights in a row because every night since we got out, he finds his way to my bed and snuggles up with me at about 2 in the morning. Do I send him back to his room? Absolutely not! I just can't turn him away. He's only going to want to do this for so long....I can't help it! T is starting to look like a big girl. You know how their baby features stay with them for only so long?! She's losing them! She is the sweetest little girl! She's our prayer warrior! She will pray about anything and everything. Let me tell you....she can pray the most powerful prayers out of that little mouth! God has been so good to me with these great kids! I am so thankful for them. Have I mentioned that I have the BEST husband in the whole wide world? He is just absolutely amazing! I'm spoiled. I admit it! He rocks my world! He's pretty cute too! I'll have to post some pictures soon of my sweet family! Well, I better get back to work for now...although I have nothing to do....I better LOOK busy at least! :-)

Off to the hospital we went! Part 2

We got back in a room and they came in and put his IV in. I was so worried about the whole IV thing. Would they numb it? Would I be able to stay in the room? Would I have to hold him down? So many things running through my head! I started crying because I was worried about everything and as soon as they started to wrap him up (like a burrito...they tucked one arm underneath a sheet and wrapped him as if he were a newborn so it would be harder for him to jerk around) mommy mode kicked in and I was fine. I just talked to him made him look me in the eyes and told him how big he was and that it was all going to be over soon....poor baby! I was really impressed thought because just one big stick later, they were done and taping it up. He just let out one big scream and stayed calm after that! I hate that he had to go through that! They took some blood from him and said that we would have the results soon. SOON?! About an hour later, the nurse came in the room to check on us and we asked her how long it would be until we got the results back and she said, "It shouldn't be too long. All of the blood that is sent from the ER is labeled STAT so that it comes back quickly. It shouldn't be too much longer." 3 HOURS later the dr finally comes in the room and tells us that the blood work came back normal. They wanted to do a CAT SCAN to see what his appendix looked like and that would give them a better picture of what needs to be done. About 30 minutes later, they came in and took us to CT. B was such a big boy! We had to promise to get him some ice cream as soon as the dr said it would be ok! He just laid there and did such a good job. When they got the results, they said that the appendix did not look sick but there was some inflammation around it so they wanted to go ahead and admit him for observation. We did not get into our room until 9:00am Thursday moring! Luckily B slept most of the time in the ER. After we got to his room, we just slept as much as we could! B was so ready to go home and they still were not letting him eat or drink anything at this point. They started some fluids and that took the hunger away for a while. Finally about 7:30 that evening, they let him eat. He finally got his ice cream. Then after that, everytime a dr came in to see him or he had to do something for someone, he always asked for ice cream. He was pretty spoiled in the hospital. That explains why he is acting the way he is acting now!
By Friday afternoon, the pain was gone from his abdomen and was in his right hip. This concerned the drs so they wanted to do a CT on his hip. About an hour later, they told me that they were going to do an MRI and that he would need to be sedated. He has to remain still for this test so that was the only way they could do it. Instead of going to sleep, he was loopy!!! He thought things were moving. He would look at me and smile real big at me and just start laughing like someone was tickling him! He would tell me that the lights were moving and he was just so funny. They attempted to do the MRI and he kept moving and looking back at me to see if I was still nearby. If you have never been in and MRI machine, it makes very loud noises. Noises that should really scare a 3 year old. They even give you ear plugs because they are so loud. It did not bother B at all! He tried touching the top of the machine. He even started dancing to the loud noises at one point! I thought it was pretty entertaining....the dr's weren't very thrilled! He started immitating the noises....I could go on and on. I wish I had a video camera with me! It was so stinking cute! I am just glad he didn't climb out of the thing! They gave up and let us go back to our room. They decided that nothing else could be done and we were discharged at 8pm Friday night! Hallelujah!!!!! I was thrilled to be going home! Little did I know what would be waiting for me!
I guess the medicine just made B feel angry. He would get mad at the smallest thing. He would cry and cry for nothing. He was so exhausted and just could not go to sleep. The MRI guy that took us back to our room told me that B would sleep for the rest of the afternoon because of that medicine. HE DID NOT sleep until 10 that night! Even throughout the weekend, he acted really out of sorts. Finally yesterday, he started acting normal again. It was kind of a scary experience. I don't want to go through that again for a long time.