So, it's been a while and I really don't have anything to talk about. Not a whole lot has been going on lately. I sure do miss grandma a whole lot! It's already been 3 weeks...it feels like a lifetime. What's weird is that I am afraid I am not going to remember what she looks like. I have seen her all of my life, I know, but I just have a fear that I am going to forget. I don't want to forget. I want to remember every single feature. She aged so well. Her hands were so soft and smooth. Wow, I just miss her. I was lying in bed last week and I started to cry because all I could see when I would think about her was the EMS crew pushing on her chest as they pushed her out the door or her just laying there on the table, lifeless. I don't want to remember that stuff. I want to remember her alive and laughing or being grumpy as she sometimes was. She hated it when I didn't answer my phone. She did not like to leave messages. If she did they wouldn't be very pleasant! :-) I don't have caller id and even though I would tell her that over and over again, she didn't believe me. hahaha.....she is greatly missed! My mom has been staying with me ever since this all happened and I have enjoyed that. I think she is about to go home. I am ok with her going home but at the same time, I won't be able to check on her and make sure she is ok. I can of course go and see her and call her but it won't be the same.
Dear Jesus, just give her peace. Be with her as she returns to her regular, everyday life. Bring peace to her household. Love on her and comfort her. Thank you for all that you have done for our family. Please tell grandma that we sure do miss her. Thank you for making her better. In Jesus' name. Amen
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11 years ago
1 comment:
I can only imagine how difficult your final images of Grandma on earth are to deal with, but I hope I can give you some comfort. For quite a while you will worry that you won't remember what she looked like, and every now and then you won't. However - after the shock and newness (for lack of a better word) wears off, you WILL remember! My grandmother died 11 years ago and I still remember every little detail about her - almost better than I did when she was alive. Maybe that's because memory is all I have. Anyway, all that to say, hang in there - it will probably get tougher before it gets easier, but it will get easier in it's own way and you will never forget the things you love about Grandma. AND - if you need ANYTHING - even just to cry - CALL ME - I know how hard it gets. I LOVE YOU!!!!
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